Nothing says "Obey me" like a bloody head on a fencepost.
May 5th, 2004 by matt
People who write checks in the fast lane at grocery stores piss me off. The whole purpose of the fast lane is, stay with me here, speed. You are limited to 10 or 15 items, which usually ensures a speedy checkout. So why do people pay with a check? ATM cards are free from almost all banks, so there’s no reason to continue to write checks. Grocery stores don’t charge a fee for using an ATM card, and you could even get cash back, which keeps you from having to make a trip to the bank later. Besides, balancing a checkbook is something that some people have trouble with (Michelle), so eliminate the need to balance a checkbook and use a freaking ATM card.
Another difference between PA and VA: People have no idea how to drive in parking lots. I can actually feel my blood pressure rise when I must drive through a parking lot. From dodging the person in the Civic who isn’t paying attention and rolls right through the stop sign, to waving on the woman in the Lexus who is too scarred from a previous accident to drive in a normal fashion and consequently won’t move no matter how much you wave at her, driving in parking lots in VA is awful. I’ve seen people sit and wait for someone to pull out of a spot – while they block two lanes of traffic, seemingly with no regard for their fellow motorists. I’ve seen people just step out into traffic and expect, nay DEMAND, that traffic halt and, ideally, disappear into nothingness. I’ve seen people back out of a spot while someone behind them already began to back out of a spot. In fact, that person was just getting into their car when the other car put on their reverse lights. How much of an ass must you be to act like that? I’m sure people do this behavior in PA, but not in the amount I’ve seen.
In fact, I think VA drivers are just plain stupid sometimes. The other day I was driving down Little River Turnpike, which is the equivalent of 309 through Quakertown, and some guy pulled out in front of me and stopped, blocking my lane, while attempting to merge into the opposing traffic. Yes, this genius was trying to make a left against four lanes of traffic, and not at a light. The guy even had the audacity to grin at me like “I know I’m an idiot, but I have no other choice.” Motherfucker, MAKE A GOD DAMN RIGHT, AND THEN MAKE A LEFT OR A U-TURN AT THE NEXT LIGHT. Instead, you chose to put my life and my car in danger, not to mention those who might have been driving behind me.
The other stupid drivers are the ones who will weave from lane to lane, not using turn signals, and act like any space is an invitation to merge. I’m sorry, I keep a space cushion between me and the car in front of me so I have reaction time for unexpected events. I don’t keep it so jackasses like you can merge in, without a turn signal, after which you’ll have to slam on your brakes because the person in front of you had to press their’s due to the traffic and you didn’t expect that. Meanwhile, the lane you just left is now moving faster, and you meander back into that lane at the first opportunity, just so you can get to where you’re going about four car lengths faster than me, who doesn’t play those driving games.
I tell you, after my car is paid for, the next one I get will be some old Honda that will run forever and it won’t matter if it gets a ding or two; it’s not new enough to care. Maybe this is why I’m losing my hair.